Ep. 2/ Examine Yourself. You’re Getting In Your Own Way
Cycles exist because we allow them to.
this podcast discusses ways we hinder our progress.
Discover:
The Damage of Offensive Cycles
The Power of Preservation & Presence
LISTEN NOW
I’m Getting in My Own Way
Yep, that’s what I've learned. In an effort to protect ourselves, we tend to go back to ole faithful. Our default trauma response (fight, flight, freeze, appease) when we feel "threatened" or in "danger" mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually, & socially.
Our Perception Is Our Reality
Our perception of what is happening to and around us is what informs us of our "safety status". This becomes a problem, when we begin to generalize & categorize instead of recognize the true issue. With this perspective & mindset any friction, interference, & challenge to our beliefs, principles, & conditioning (upbringing, training, former experiences, all the things we consider "normal") can be categorized as a threat and illicit a harsh response based on the level of the offense.
Your Biggest Threat
And truth be told, my biggest threat to my dreams, career, business, & relationships was me. A fact that most us don't want to admit let alone address. In order for something to be perceived as a threat and receive a visceral response, we have to provide context to fuel & support such reaction. Validating our behavior over time.
What are you present with?
When we are not fully present & are not seeking the real issue, we tend to pull context from our past & add it to actions we see in our present to form a response that magnifies the offense.
The magnifying of the offense can take place in multiple ways:
Overthinking, Worry, Anxiety
Scenario/Defensive Rehearsing
Judgement-based treatment
Pulling other people into the situation (coworkers, friends, family). We call this venting but it can also be used a tool to gather more "reasonable" evidence.
All of the things listed above cause you to immediately & consistently change your thoughts, behaviors, & actions to align with the offense. NOT the other person or you. Imagine holding space to do, remember, & hold all of these things for each person, company, organization, or entity that has threatened or offended you & trying to function in your life, career, or business. That's exhausting. No wonder we don't have the capacity to spend time with our families, ourselves, or make time for the things we love. Instead we are always looking to escape. A impulsive need to escape & detach from what's happening daily (with use of internet, pleasure, food, a bottle, spending, perfectionism/toxic planning) . This is torture.
Ep.2/
Examine Yourself: You’re Getting In Your Own Way
There’s A Healthier Way
When we engage in this behavior repetitively, we thrust ourselves into survival mode. When we put ourselves into survival mode as a defense, we welcome unnecessary suffering (stagnation, cycles, & battles). Thus, stunting our own growth & development. Life lifes on it's own. We don't need to add more drama to it.
To begin to change this, I had to adjust my mindset. I don't seek to protect myself in these instances, I seek to preserve myself. Preserving myself holistically is my ultimate life goal. Preserving my character, career goals, life's vision, wealth, purpose, peace, health, & sanity. Preservation for me is a form of self-control. I'm in control of me & no one else is. I decide what's best for me and when to remove myself from what is hindering me & replace it with what feeds me. Even if that's my thoughts, beliefs, & actions.
Better Is Here
We preserve what we value. We protect what we are scared to lose. I know I'm not going to lose me. This is no longer a fear that I have. No one can take me from me. I've found that when I seek to preserve me, I actually uncover more of & about who I truly am. I don't need to convince others of, justify, or prove my worth. Because I know, I am what I value.
My focus now is to live a life worthy of me.
Join me in Our Thrive2Flourish Community & put the focus back on you. Sit in your significance again.
Don’t lose yourself to the opinions, drama, or negativity of other’s.
